∑ilage

as the thrid installment of what is now a "things that suck" trilogy, i now offer this obvious statement to my already uncreative blogging (wow, write about things that suck on your own blog, nice one hipster). That doesn't make it any less true though. Humans do suck, and these sea lions prove it:

"the most frightening of the recent episodes, a rogue sea lion bit 14 swimmers this month and chased 10 more out of the water at San Francisco's Aquatic Park, a sheltered lagoon near the bay. At least one victim suffered puncture wounds."

Maybe these sea lions are poisoned from algae (as some biologists speculate), maybe they listened to too much Brotha Lynch (as i speculate), but i think they are just keepin' it real by trying their damnedest to eat some people. This part of the article was particularly inspiring:

"Last year, a group of sea lions took over a Newport Beach marina and caused a vintage 50-foot yacht to capsize when they boarded it. And a lifeguard in Santa Barbara was bitten three times while swimming off El Capitan State Beach."

Hell yeah. I wish that shit was on YouTube. Sea lions are playful and mean well. They only eat fish typically, which is ok because fish stink and look stupid. Coincidentally, humans also stink and look stupid. So i guess it's no surprise that human is now on the menu.

So fuck you humans, and your football and your fantasy sports too. If you are lucky, nuclear war will end your lives before an army of sea lions swarms the coasts of every nation and commences to gnaw your fucking dicks off.