∑ilage

Vegas. I went there. It kinda sucked.

Ok, so maybe that's too simplistic. I loved the lights, the cool buildings, the illusion of being in a higher class than what i really occupy, the casinos, and the weather.

I hated the slums, the constant noise of slot machines, the boldfaced exploitation of the poor communities around the casinos, the blue faced and desperate people in front of the slot machines, and the dry air that made my lips crack into a million pieces.

Admittedly though, being able to drink a beer in the car is pretty sweet too.

But what really threw me for a loop about las vegas was Casesar's Palace.

Look, here's the caesar they got waiting for you when you walk in the door.


Look familiar? If you guessed Augustus, you are correct! Why, this is a replica of the Augustus of Prima Porta, created to celebrate Augustus' sea victory over his rivals in order to secure his power as emperor in 27 B.C.

Augustus pretty much ran his empire on a family values-type campaign. Everyone had to worship the gods properly, no excessive venery or whoring (and yes earv, there is a such thing), and families had to be traditional, pious, and orderly.

So my first reaction is: why the fuck is this guy in front of a casino? Shouldn't gambling be exactly what Augustus was against? What a strange irony.

Turns out, that's only true if you equate today's insane family values people with ancient Rome's insane family values people (or maybe both are just hypocrites) For Augustus, gambling was ok. So much in fact that he did it himself.

Augustus was a slave to gambling and did it an awful lot. This was before the days of the colliseum, mind you, so gambling probably involved betting games like "how many tits are on this she-wolf" and "dungeon dice," but the fact remains that the ole guy was all Charles Barkley about games of chance.

Turns out though, one of Augustus' favorite passtimes was dice. I can just imagine some old roman dude pitching the ole bones into a cardboard box. Hooray.